Albert Gets Oatmeal in the Face and Other Natural Disasters (Narrator's POV)

     It was a regular day at Pencilworld High School: students who had had too much coffee were bouncing off the walls, students who had normal amounts of coffee were chatting about the latest gossip, and students who didn't have coffee at all were wondering around like zombies.
     Albert, Pencil, and Penelope had just escaped--er, gotten out--of Professor Ticonderoga's class, which was so boring that even the students with too much coffee sat down as soon as he said in his low, monotonous voice, "Welcome to class. I'm so happy you are here today. Today we will delve down into the rich history of..."
     "I'm hungry. Do you know what they're serving in the cafeteria?" Penelope asked as they walked down the hall.
     "I read on the menu that we're having breakfast for lunch today," quipped Albert, "which I'm highly disappointed in, because if we don't have a proper lunch we won't be able to get proper nutrition, which may lead to..." He stopped as Pencil held up a hand.
     "Dude, if you don't stop saying stuff like that nobody cares about, you're going to end up like Professor Ticonderoga. Old, boring, alone in life--"
     "Okay, okay, I get it!"
     They walked into the cafeteria, which smelled like Waffle House and IHOP. When it was their turn to get their food, the grouchy lunch lady plopped a ladle-full of squishy oatmeal onto their plates. "Eww," Penelope moaned as they walked towards thei regular table. "I hate oatmeal!"
     "Me too," said Albert, who was quick to agree with anything Penelope said.
     "But you had oatmeal just this morning, remember? You said it was a great source of--" Pencil, who often liked to thwart Albert's attempts, was cut short when Albert kicked him in the shin. Penelope smiled but said nothing.
     When they reached their table, Penelope was about to sit down when a voice called out to them. "Hey, Penny!" Albert groaned. It was his arch-nemesis and Penelope-competition, Jeff Scribble.
     Jeff strutted over to their table. He was the school's most popular jock, and the envy of all the guys  in terms of his being a lady-magnet. Penelope turned to greet him.
     "How's it going, Penny?" he asked, ignoring Albert and Pencil.
     "I told you, Jeff, it's Penelope, not Penny," she said, smiling but raising an eyebrow.
     "Ah, Penelope's too long. So, anyway, I just came over here to invite you to sit with us--you know, at the cool table instead of with these losers. Oh, Pencil, you can come too if you want. But, oh," he turned to Albert, "sorry, buddy, we already have a footrest. But if we spill something, we'll call you, okay?"
     The entire cool table laughed. Albert turned red.
     "Sorry, Jeff, I promised I'd sit with these guys today. Maybe next time," said Penelope, sitting down.
     Jeff shrugged. "How about you?" he asked Pencil. Pencil was already sitting down, gobbling up his oatmeal.
     Jeff began walking back to the cool table, but not before he dropped an apple. It rolled towards Albert. He picked it up and looked at Jeff.
     "Oops," said Jeff, turning around and smirking. "I dropped something. Can you get that, footrest?"
     Albert's face reddened again. He was about to say something when a spoonful of oatmeal hit his face.
     The cool table laughed again. "Hey!" Pencil shouted, quieting them. "That's not cool!"
    "Aww, look at you defending the little--" but he didn't finish his sentence, because Pencil threw the remainder of his oatmeal at his face. 

     "Oh, it's on!" Jeff shouted, wiping oatmeal off his face. He grabbed a random kid's bowl and threw it, but it missed and hit Penelope instead. He gasped and stared.  

     Penelope slowly wiped the oatmeal out of her eyes and looked down. She then picked up her bowl of oatmeal and walked over to Jeff. He sputtered, trying to apologize, but Penelope dumped her bowl over his head. And then things got chaotic. 

     Students everywhere saw what was happening and began throwing oatmeal at each other. Teachers rushed in, trying to control the fighting, but only got covered in oatmeal. I'm the thick of it was Pencil, throwing food at anyone and everyone. 

     "Twenty points if you hit Ticonderoga!" Pencil shouted to Albert, who had oats dripping down his front. Albert grinned. He didn't usually break the rules, but this was really fun--plus Penelope seemed to be enjoying herself. 

     Finally, the principal ran into the eye of the storm, his usually immaculate appearance now dripping with oatmeal. "EVERYBODY STOP!" he screamed, holding up his hands and glaring at everyone. 

     So, the rest of the day was spent cleaning up the cafeteria. But to this day, people who witnessed the 'Foodfight heard 'round the world' and 'World War Three' say that they saw the teachers throwing oatmeal, too.